A great storm of protest is growing in opposition to the proposed building of a new foot bridge over the River Aln at one of the most hallowed places in Northumberland. The bridge, if built, will span the river at Peters Mill and many believe there are also plans to remove the ancient “Stones of Stepping” which jut majestically skyward from the magical waters of the Aln at this sacred spot. Peters Mill has been a place of spirituality and ritual since the dawn of time and the Hulne Park pigmies, the Hoodafacarwee tribe, believed the “Stones of Stepping” mark the centre of the known universe. The highly respected and revered Northumbrian witch Ms. Ethel Scrabbs, who resides not far from the stones at Rabbit Lonnen, has uttered a warning to those involved in the project. “Wat radge gyets, whey wad consider such a radge idea, I see nowt but doom, a pox on em ahll, bastards!” said Ms Scrabbs. The bridge, the claimed brainchild of many a local councilor and businessman, has been designed by Broon Djougal Ltd and will be built by local engineers Amtechndapish Ltd at an estimated cost of £50,000. “An theh wan us ahl te chip in te pay furit anall, bastards! commented Ethel.