The Chatton Hare was always boasting when all the animals met for a natter under the old oak tree. “Yi nah, am thu fastest thing urn fowa legs me” he claimed one morning. “Oh I”, questioned the Chillingham Ferrit. “I” he replied, “av beatn a canny few in mah time, incloodn the Hampeth Horse and the Shilbottle Greyhoond, am thu biznus me” said the hare, “ ahl tek anybody on!” The Wooler Tortoise said quietly,"Ahl tek yi urn” he had always thought the Chatton Hare was a right pain in the arse, "Ya tekin thu piss son" laughed the Hare; "Put ya money where ya mooth is hurbs” said the tortoise. “Ahlright shite’a yar urn, a tenna” grinned the hare. “ The Doxford Badger hads thu kittie” said the Wooperton Weasel So a course was chosen and the Powburn Mouse started the race. The hare was out of sight almost at once, but soon stopped and sat down to wait for the tortoise, “ahl whind up that little shite” he thought to himself but the day was warm and he’d had a canny session on the broon the night before so he fell asleep. The Wooler Tortoise plodded on and plodded on, and when he came across the sleeping hare he smacked him on the head with a brick and to the suprise of the other animals was first to finish and claimed his prize. “Ah think the daft gyets gottn lost” he said. The Wooler Tortoise returned that night with his family and carried away the dead hare who they sold to a local butcher the next day. And the moral of this story ?...... “Divvunt trust nowt from Wooler” Or ---- “A brick in the hand is worth two bob at the butchers”