Intelligence reports suggest an upsurge over recent months in Fundamentalism to the North of the County. The growing movement is showing a much harder edge to their campaign for a 'Free Northumbrian Homeland' with a separate currency, passport control and bordered by the River Tweed to the North and the River Coquet to the South, According to experts, the power shift has, over the last twenty years, been determined and radical, ousting old, sluggish leaders, in favor of younger, more mental ones who aren't afraid to blow their own fingers off for the cause. Leading authority on Northumbrian Terrorism, Dr Arlo Nebulous states that "Back in the seventies, there was the Alnwick Underground Revolutionary Army, ( A.U.R.A.). Their High Staff would meet for secret talks in The Dirty Bottles, which would invariably revert to setting each others newspapers on fire or dropping clockwork frogs or food colouring into unguarded glasses of beer while giggling insanely, much to the distress of thirsty tourists." This ineffectual hierarchy has now been replaced by a proactive splinter faction, known as Sha' fuqahr. Their hard line approach was seen to disrupt last years Shrove Tuesday Football match, with the crashing of a remote controlled model biplane into Alnwick Castle, and the throwing of bangers up Pickwick Lane. Fortunately, the sausages failed to go off. " This is only the beginning," says Dr. Nebulous." I have documentary proof that a campaign of one sort or another is imminent. The psychological tactic of having every male under the age of eighteen sporting a particularly ludicrous haircut, in order to sow confusion cannot be ruled out". Alnwickists Have expressed the opinion that the mayhem should begin the day before Alnwick Fair starts, in the hope that it may have to be canceled. Unfortunately, this was not the case