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Feral Children Sighted at Lowick

Reported sightings of feral children in the Lowick area have been on the increase over the past two months. The children, dirty, naked and possibly numbering up to thirty, are alleged to be living in nearby woods in what locals refer to as ' the rats nest'. Being nocturnal, they congregate nightly around the Main Street litter bin to commence their feeding frenzy of easy pickings, leaving a trail of havoc and destruction. Local woman, Delores Swyngge-Bridges reported fifteen sightings in a single night. " It got so bad that I got the gun out. I winged one of them while he was half in the bin, reaching for what turned out to be a discarded bar of Caramac." After letting out several high pitched squeals, the child finished the Caramac, and curled into a defensive ball before taking the opportunity to flee on all fours. It is Ms.Swyngge- Bridges assumption that the children are being raised by a family group of Hedgehogs in the village

Chard Mungbean-Harters
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