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A Shameful Waste

Replying to a question from Mr. Alvin Boef M.P. concerning A1 dualling the government minister responsible, Lord Jag-Jag of Hard as a Rock Hall replied in the House of Commons- "It would be a shameful waste of public money to fund any scheme which would allow men to fight with swords and pistols on the London to Thurso trunk road even during Alnwick Fair Week" When it was pointed out that dualling the A1 meant providing two carriage ways in each direction he replied, " It would be a shameful waste of public money as two carriage ways are not now needed as the new speed cameras at Stannington now provide enough income for us to fly the country's leaders home to Scotland every weekend (Thursday) by private jet"

Big Frank
Events
Bobby Blar & the Blartones
Bobby Blar with his reknowned catalogue of local and international music, accompanied as ever, by his Gran (Mimsy) on the wind-pipe organ.
Tickets £1.50 on the door
Contact: Bobby
The Craster Pole Dance
Craster
The Craster Pole Dance
Barter Only
Contact: Tim Craster-Pole
Open Day
Deancroft Early Warning Station
Hosted by General Fife VC
Admission Free
Contact: General Fife VC