The Hampeth Millennium Garden was officially opened this week by His Majesty Norbert I. King of Amble. The King, who is patron of the garden was given a guided tour by Henry and Bertha Rimblock, the Hampeth couple whose vision and enthusiasm has been instrumental in bringing the 40 million pound project in to being. Addressing the crowd of 4,000 invited guests and local dignitaries the King said “ Whan ah wus forst axed by the Rimblocks tu be patron of this project a thouwt sod that fura game o soldiers, nay way bonnie lad, wat a bag a shite thats ganna be. But whan ah hord tha wuz fowerty million in the kitty ah thouwt, whey why not and yi nah thav med a canny job of it anall. Mrs Rimblock thanked her husband Henry for all the work he had done on the garden and said that he had gone back in the house for a well earned rest, watching the racing from Chepstow on their new 12 foot plasma screen TV. The opening of the garden has come six months later than planned after the original opening ceremony was canceled as it coincided with the Grand National and both Henry Rimblock and the King of Amble had paid for a weekend trip to Aintree organized by Hampeth Working Mens Club. The impressive garden, which covers some forty square meters features a lawn with stripes, a brick path, a bird table ingeniously made from a Rover Assorted biscuit tin, gnomes and assorted bric a brac and a cascade water feature made from old tyres and plastic guttering. Unfortunately later in the day security guards were called to the gardens visitor center and coffee shop after King Norbert complained about the prices, “ One pund ten pence fu coffee, ya tekin tha piss ye theaven gyets” said the king “ a wanna buy a cup of it not the bloody jar! and ha ya seen the price of the scones” The garden manager Mr. Augustus Sycophant who tried to calm the situation was later taken to the casualty department of Alnwick infirmary to have a ham salad bagget removed