Alnwick Fair, Alnwick Fair, Just what was I doing there? I had no grand costume to wear, I just went for a dare. Alnwick Fair, Alnwick Fair, Like dorty shitted underwear, No Savoir Faire nor Laissez Faire, Gets shitter year on year. Alnwick Fair, Alnwick Fair, Should ye be there take utmost care To find a pulse is muckle rare From the heart of Alnwick Fair.