So you've been with the school to Edinburgh zoo, you've even done Hadrian's wall In a Craigg's coach, that's bellowin' oot smoke, up the hill it would be quicker to crawl Playing murder ball up against the sports hall with a muckle big chunk of steel Braggin that you know how ford capris can be chored And that Durham jail is no big deal Its time to taste what you already know You're ganna miss the Plough leek show Minibus is ready to go. It’s a holiday in Cambois Where carcinogenic fumes are rife It's a holiday in Cambois Bring your fish net and a pen knife You're beer bellied and radge, but a muckle canny gadge With your lagers and your bag of glue And with the power station near, ahl the fish glow queer But the sea air is good for you Playing bingo after dark, doon the caravan park Full hoose wins a china durg The bingo caller is a cynic from the methadone clinic But he recommends to you It's a holiday in Cambois Where Charva's wear shell suits A Holiday in Cambois Put ya duty free tabs in the boot.