A young child was rescued this morning by Emergency Services after an ill advised attempt to climb the ionosphere in search of crisps went horribly wrong. Police and a Fire Crew were called to scene after a crowd of nebby gits gathered to watch the incident, resulting in traffic chaos. The boy, Sugden Jenters of Powburn, was coaxed down the 275 foot long extending decorators ladder by armed officers who later denied that they had orders to 'pick off' the child, should he appear to be in difficulty during his decent. After a good yarking off his dad, Sugden explained that his father "never stopped banging on about Sexton Flake crisps, so I set out to find some to shut the bugger up!" The crisps in question were manufactured during the mid 1970's by The Hydrogenated Oil Based Beverage and Snack Co. of Whittingam and the subsequent T.V commercial depicted a young boy claiming that he would quite willingly attempt to climb the ionosphere in search of the product. A press conference held later in the day announced that it was up to the Courts to decide if litigation against H.O.B.B.S. was appropriate due to “ludicrous retrospective advertising claims'. To the surprise of all present, Enrico Choddy, chairman of H.O.B.B.S. announced that production of the old style crisp would be resumed for a limited period only due to the advantageous publicity. A fist fight ensued between Mr.Choddy and Mr. Jenters when it was jokingly suggested that each bag would contain a free set of decorators ladders. Charges of violent behavior were filed by Police.