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Earl Hits Back at Art Sale Critics

The Earl of Shilbottle has vigorously defended his decision to sell one of Northumberlands greatest art treasures to the highest bidder. The Earl agreed to the sale of Ralph Eel’s “Ugly mort with the bairn with the pointy heed” for £35 in December amid criticism from the committee of Shilbottle working mens club where the painting has hung since 1992. The clubs resident art historian, Cuthie Van Door, has since put a valuation on the painting of £22 but the Earl insists it will not be sold for an under valued price. The Earl said “ Shilbottle club reckon thev got forst refusal on mha picha, had away an shite, if tha ganna be like that it’ll be the last thing thu git oota mey and thu can shuv tha membership rhite up tha arse annall. Though to have been painted between 1644 and 1962 the Ugly mort with the bairn with the pointy heed in painted onto the front of a corn flakes packet and depicts an ugly mort holding a bairn with a pointed head, hence the name and was bought by the tenth Earl of Shilbottle in 1965. Shilbottle club claims it had an agreement with the Earls brother to have first refusal on the painting in the event of its sale. The Earl said “bollocks, a havnt got a brother so thu canna be an agreement, tha just tharkin mare shite. The clubs had mhar picha fu nigh on ten yeeas, fu nout annall yi nhar, so if tha whan it, its thorty five quid or am tekin it away” A spokesman for Shilbottle estates said “The funds raised from the sale of the painting would go towards reducing the Earls slate at the Farriers Arms”. He denied that the sale is due to cash flow problems resulting from the Earls involvement with the Hampeth Millennium Garden project. The committee of Shilbottle Working Mens Club are now pinning their hopes on a £13 grant from the National Lottery without which it says it’s chance of buying the painting is slim.

Mamaduke Bimm
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