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“Turd Bandit” Caught on the Job

A man, believed to be the notorious “Thropton Turd Bandit” was arrested on Tuesday morning after he was apprehended by several members of Thropton neighborhood watch. The man arrested is non-other than Mr. Rennie Scotick, 57, a highly respected villager and Chairman of Thropton neighborhood watch. “We caught him on the job” said Mrs. Ena Noutatal, curator of the Thropton Bleach Museum, “there he was, crouched on old Mrs. Clahrhammers’ doorstep, wearing nothing but a Duke of Northumberland mask and a pair of tartan slippers”. The residents of Thropton had mounted an around the clock surveillance of the village after being plagued for weeks by someone dropping excrement everywhere and Mr. Scotick was himself involved in the surveillance operation. Neighborhood watch vice- chairman, Mr. Chris Peabacon said “we are all shocked at the outcome of this, I have known Rennie for more than thirty years, he’s been under a lot of strain lately.

Mamaduke Bimm
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